Wanderers

Issue n.1

“let me fall if I must fall. The one I will become will catch me.”

Jewish quote

“Not all who wander are lost”

J.R.R. Tolkien

Photo Fred Herzog

I have always been fascinated with the concept of life wandering, and I wrote about it in this post. I even thought the byline for this publication could be “a newsletter for life wanderers.” There is something romantic in the concept of wandering life that speaks of adventures and freedom and walking off the beaten track. In that post, I wrote about how, in my opinion, there are two different categories of people: the wanderers, those who like to lose themselves in the meanders of life (this is where I naturally belong), and the “committed,” people who have very concrete goals and that unapologetically and relentlessly go for them.

Needless to say, society has traditionally always praised the latter vs the first. Just think of our education system, where everything is measured regarding goals, scores, and achievement.

However, is it really one group better than the other? I am not sure. Like everything “in medio virtus stat.” The virtue is in the middle. We can be wanderers, but perhaps there comes a point in life where we naturally want to set goals for ourselves. We have things we aspire to and want to achieve. Or we can be among the “committed” who are always racing for the next achievement until they find themselves burned out and exhausted. There is so much talking about mental health and people opting out of the “rat race,” buying homes in the country, and reconnecting with nature and a slower pace of life. It is undoubtedly a trend, and it often happens in midlife. So perhaps rather than talking about two different groups of people, we should think in terms of different phases of life, although deep inside, I think a wanderer is a wanderer with the tendency to always test the limit of their self-imposed discipline and a committed remains committed and can churn out schedules and exude “busy-ness” even when out of a working environment.

The point is that too much of anything is likely to cause imbalance, and that’s why it is perhaps useful to reflect upon which category we identify ourselves with and what we can do to invite a bit of the other side into our lives.

I have been wandering a lot in many aspects of my life; this space is the perfect example. I started it three years ago without knowing exactly what I wanted to accomplish with it. I just knew I wanted to write again. I was looking for a space where I could express myself through my favorite medium, and this platform promised to be, if not ideal, at least a better option to the noise of social media.

However, after three years of aimless wandering and directionless writing, I lost motivation and confidence. The less I wrote, the more difficult it was to start again. This summer was a turning point. I have been reading a book about creativity. It contains many useful insights, but it is the simplest one that stuck with me. I don’t need to have a book published to call myself a writer, but I do need to write. If I don’t write, I can think of myself as a writer. I can call myself a writer even, but essentially, I am not one. It really is just that simple. I can endlessly blame the things I have to do or take care of, but it comes to a point when I have to make a very conscious choice. Do I want to make writing a priority? If yes, then I have to make space for writing and be very intentional about it.

So I made the decision to start my writing year.

For a year I will be a writer. Not an accomplished writer , an MFA writer, not even a good writer. Just a writer. A beginner writer, a mediocre one, and this will be my platform. I am curious to see a year from now how much I will have grown and how far I will have come. I will live a writer’s life with all the challenges and the difficulties, the lack of inspiration, the blocks. All that this entails.

There are many things that I have learned about myself in the last few years, but this is the main one. My wandering also referred to as lack of focus and discipline, is not some major malfunction I have engrained in me. It is a beautiful way of life that sometimes, however, can get in the way of achieving my goals. A rather practical problem that needs a very practical solution. And it starts with admitting to myself that my time is limited, and instead of wanting to do all the things all the time and beat myself up when I don’t succeed, I should start thinking in terms of priorities. Block time for things I want to do and say no to others.

In other words, it is time for me to venture into the unfamiliar land of the committed.

And so perhaps you will notice this newsletter got a bit of restyling with new sections added to it. I had fun thinking of the possibilities and the things I wanted to write about. Light and deep, joyful and nostalgic. All of it. I wanted a place for my curiosity and wanderings to rest and find a home. I figured I could use some playful writing to counterbalance the more “serious” and committed writing I also want to do because, sometimes, we don’t choose our dreams. They come to us and don’t leave us alone until we do something about it.

Whatever category you feel you belong to, this is my invitation to embrace the other side. There is real magic in wandering, in getting lost, and finding yourself again. There is magic in realizing the power of your intentions to give voice and shape to your dreams and the things you want to achieve for yourself—without forgetting to have fun in the process.

Happy wandering. Or not.

P.S. Some things that have helped me organize my priorities are coaching, journaling and this app that teaches me routines in a mindful storytelling way. (I find apps generally useless, but this is an exception). And of course, meditation, the best tool to train my mind to focus and find my center when I get inevitably lost.